A few years ago, I realized that my standard answer to “How are you?” was <drumroll, please> “Busy!”  That also seemed to be the usual reply I got from others when I’d ask them how they were.  So busy.  We’re all just so very, very busy.

I realized that I was starting to assume busyness was the expected answer, and worse yet, I realized that sometimes I was wearing it like a badge of honor. 

I decided that was an award that I didn’t need.

Over time, and especially since I’ve been living The REALIFE Process®, I’ve learned to rest.  I’m not always great at it, but I’m practicing.  Because that’s what rest is – a practice.  It’s a practice that I’m putting into place in my life to help me feel more centered and balanced.  It’s not something that just happens by accident, and it’s not just what I do on vacation.  It’s a regular practice that I have to intentionally build into my life.

So, what does it mean to rest?  It’s not the same as sleeping – although that’s also a practice that most of us need to be better about!  It’s an invitation to pause, to step away from the busyness, to slow down, to be present.  Rest can be done in solitude, or with others.  Rest is a break from screen time – or at least any work-related screen time.  In short, rest is anything that replenishes our energy.

Now I know what you’re probably thinking.  “But, Kathy, there’s just too much to do!  I really am too busy to rest.”  I’ll simply ask you, “How’s that working for you?  Are you happy with how you’re showing up in the world?”  I know the demands are many.  There is always more work to do, and there are people we love whom we need to care for.  But our bodies and souls need rest, and I usually find that when I allow for rest, I am actually more productive and better able to serve others.

How often? For me, rest doesn’t happen daily, but it needs to be sprinkled in a few times – at least in short doses – during the week.  I also really try to have a good long period of rest each weekend.  It usually isn’t the whole weekend, but half or part of it needs to include rest.  When I go too long without rest, I can feel it.  (And my husband can probably notice it too!)  I’m a better human when I make time for regular rest, and I’m better able to live life according to my purpose.

For some, this idea of the practice of rest may sound foreign, or perhaps like just wishful thinking.  But if you’re curious about starting to build a practice of rest for yourself, here’s a few ways to get started:

1.     Create a mind map about rest. 

Grab a blank sheet of paper.  Write “REST” in the middle of it and draw a circle around it.  Ask yourself, “What would a day of rest look like for me?”  Then, just let your mind go where it wants to go, and let the thoughts and ideas flow.  Write down any ideas that come to mind, like branches or a web.  Draw connector lines – from that center circle to the ideas you write down, and even between ideas that are related.  Don’t judge the ideas as they come up, just jot down what comes to mind. 

We each have unique needs, values, and talents, and so each of us gets our energy replenished in different ways.  Lean into what feels good for YOU!

2.    Experiment!

Now that you’ve got a few ideas about what form rest could take in your life, start testing them out!  Choose one idea to start with and block out a time during this week when you will try it out.  Give yourself permission to take this pause and to practice rest.  Pay attention to how you feel during and after that time of rest or restful activity.  What do you notice about how your mind is operating, what emotions you feel, and how your body responds?  If you notice positive change, keep experimenting and slowly start to practice rest regularly.

3.    Create an “I am” statement about rest in your life.

An “I am” statement is simply a statement (usually just sentence or two) that describes my desired future reality (what a fulfilling time of rest would be like for me) in present tense language.  It’s a little bit like a goal, but instead of defining what I want to accomplish, it helps me describe a vision for how I want to be in a particular situation.  Try filling in the blanks for either of these prompts:

“On a day of rest, I am ___________, I feel ___________, and I act ______.”

“I am choose to rest because ….”

I have found that my “I am” statement about rest creates a pretty compelling vision, and that motivates me to continue to work on integrating this practice into my life.

I hope this summer gives you some opportunities to practice rest.  I also hope that you’ll continue the conversation with me about this.  You’ve seen my mind map.  I’m curious about what would be on yours.  Hit reply to this email and let me know what sort of things are restful for you, or share about the obstacles that get in the way of your practice of rest.  We’ll keep practicing, together.