Why is Change so Hard?
Did you know that as human beings, we are biologically wired to resist change?
No wonder we hate learning a new layout at our favorite grocery store or having to change our password every 90 days!
It’s not just psychology… this resistance is actually rooted in biology.
A few weeks ago I wrote about how change can be similar to different kinds of hiking journeys. Today, we’ll unpack some of the brain science behind change and explore the ways that we are literally wired to resist change.
This information is summarized well by Dr. Britt Andreatta in her book, Wired to Resist. You’ll find much more detail about the scientific studies that support these claims in the book and on her website, but I’d like to share an overview here so that you can begin to get a different perspective about how and why we respond to change the way we do.
We’ll look at four different structures in the human brain, examine how they impact our response to change, and explore some ways to address those challenges when we’re facing and leading change.
Amygdala: Feeling Threatened
What it does: The amygdala is the part of our brain that launches the fight/flight/freeze response. It protects us from threats – real or perceived. This is rooted in our basic survival instinct. We are wired to detect all change – even small ones – and go on alert in case there is danger to protect against or flee from.
Why it matters: When we’re faced with a threat or change and an absence of information, we fill in “worst case scenario.” Consistent, transparent communication from a trusted person can help mitigate this pattern. This is why if we’re responsible for leading change (in our organizations or our families!), we need to share lots of information. When we’re experiencing change, we need to seek the information we need, ask questions, and research information related to the change.
How it shows up in us: Responses can vary, but the “fight” instinct often takes the form of criticism, contempt, sarcasm, teasing, shaming, or aggression. We often exhibit the flight or freeze response by getting quiet or withdrawn, showing defensiveness, making excuses, or blaming others.
Core message: When the amygdala is activated, the core message it’s sending is “I’m freaking out!” Specifically, it tells us that we are feeling threatened.
How to address it: The first important step to addressing the impact of an “amygdala hijacking” is to become aware that it’s happening within you. Once aware that your fight/flight/freeze responses are activating, it can be helpful to name (and talk and/or journal about) the feelings you’re experiencing, identify what might be causing those feelings of anxiety or worry or what is being perceived as threatening. Then you can consider what you can do to create more safety.
Helpful strategies might include re-framing the situation to reduce fear and using breathing, mindfulness, and centering techniques to reduce stress.
Entorhinal cortex: Feeling Lost
What it does: The entorhinal cortex functions like an internal GPS. It creates and updates mental maps of both physical space and social relationships. It’s the reason that you can drive to work on “autopilot” or walk around your neighborhood without getting lost. You have maps of the space that help you navigate your surroundings. The entorhinal cortex also creates social maps based on power and affinity.
Why it matters: Having these maps reduces the mental energy we need to expend on daily tasks since we generally know what to expect, where things are, who certain people are, and what role they play in our lives. Think of the disorientation you feel when you change the place you keep something in your kitchen or office. For a time, you’ll undoubtedly open the old drawer or cabinet “out of habit” because your entorhinal cortex is still working to update the map.
How it shows up in us: When we are experiencing change, there are often changes in our physical environment and social relationships. For example, if we change jobs, we need to learn a new physical environment (how to get to work, where to park, where your desk/office is, where the bathroom is, etc.) as well as a whole new set of social relationships (coworkers, supervisor, organizational leaders, etc.). The brain has to work hard to create these maps, which results in us feeling exhausted.
Core message: When the former maps are no longer needed, and the entorhinal cortex is pushed to re-create new maps, the core message it sends is “I’m lost!”
How to address it: Again, the first helpful step is awareness. When going through change, ask yourself: How will my physical space or location be affected? What are the impacts on my relationships or social dynamics?
Because of the exhaustion that comes as the entorhinal cortex creates new maps, it’s very important to acknowledge your need for more rest, plan for it, and get it! Sleep and other forms of restful activities (especially those that are familiar for you) can ease the load on the map-making and replenish your energy. It can also be helpful to find a trusted buddy or mentor to help you “learn the ropes” – new physical spaces and new social dynamics – of your new reality.
Basal Ganglia: Feeling Confused
What it does: The basal ganglia helps us create habits. It changes an activity from something challenging that requires a lot of concentration to something easy you don’t even have to think about. This helps save the brain’s energy and make our functioning more efficient. Imagine how much harder it would be for you to get ready for work each day if you didn’t have habits and routines to rely on!
Why it matters: Habit formation is the essence of learning, which is also the foundation of navigating change. The process of habit formation is simple: We experience a “cue” that prompts a desired “behavior or routine,” and then we receive a “reward” for completing that behavior. We are more likely to succeed in developing the new habit when the rewards are delivered immediately after the routine, and after we’ve experienced 40-50 repetitions of the new routine.
How it shows up in us: Like the map-making work of the entorhinal cortex, the habit forming process of the basal ganglia takes significant energy, meaning we are more likely to feel exhaustion and change fatigue as we try to get the repetitions in and solidify the habit.
Core message: When the basal ganglia is activated, the core message it’s sending is “I don’t know what to do!” Specifically, it tells us that we are feeling confused.
How to address it: When we’re in the midst of change, it can be helpful to identify what new behaviors need to be developed, seek any training that’s needed, and then create a plan to quickly get to 40-50 repetitions. Be sure to break the change into parts with mini-milestones along the way and build in rewards!
Habenula: Feeling Afraid to Fail
What it does: The habenula is responsible for our decision-making and actions using chemical guardrails. It releases dopamine and serotonin (the “feel good chemicals”) when we do something right, and when we do not get rewarded for a behavior, those chemicals are restricted, leading us to feel badly.
Why it matters: These chemical guardrails encourage us to repeat successful behaviors, and they also make us want to avoid failure. When we’re navigating a change (which often involves learning new things), there are many opportunities to fail, eg. things take longer, likely to make mistakes, might have a negative emotional reaction, etc.). Seen in this way, most of the change process is something the habenula would push us to avoid at all costs.
How it shows up in us: When we’ve had multiple negative experiences, we might become conditioned to expect failure and just give up and stop trying. In this state of learned helplessness we cannot motivate ourselves emotionally or physically to try anymore.
Core message: When the habenula is activated, the core message it’s sending is “I can’t mess up!” In essence, the habenula is what prompts us to feel afraid of failure and avoid trying new things, for fear that we will fail.
How to address it: A good beginning is to identify what opportunities to fail exist with this change and what the consequences of that failure would be. Very often when we face feared failure head-on, we discover that there isn’t as much to fear as we’d believed. It can be helpful to define for yourself what “failure” and “success” mean for you in that situation, and push yourself to identify what you might gain even if the “failure” occurs.
It can be helpful to work on developing a growth mindset that acknowledges the process of learning and the effort that’s expended more than the results. In this way, you might remember this acronym for the work FAIL: First Attempt In Learning.
Summary
Feeling resistance to change is natural… literally! These parts of our brains prompt us to feel threatened, lost, confused, and afraid to fail when we are facing something new. Given this wiring, it’s amazing that we manage any change successfully! But the fact that we DO navigate change with relative success is a testament to our ability to care for ourselves along the journey and to continue to learn and grow, even though it’s challenging.
I hope that learning more about the functions within our brains helps you to give yourself more grace when you struggle with change and that the strategies identified here help you cope with those negative feelings.
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