What’s your calling in life?

Yeah, I get it.  That’s a hard question.  And it can be hard for a lot of reasons.  For me, it was a challenge for a long time because I didn’t have a model of calling or vocation that was robust enough to fit my life.

When I was in my 20s and 30s, I was really perplexed by this question of calling or vocation.  I had grown up hearing that vocation meant living as a single person, being married, or being a priest or nun.  Since I had chosen lay ministry as a career path – and felt deeply called to it – I didn’t see where I fit.  That was complicated by the fact that I’d chosen to be in ministry before I’d married Chris.  So which one was my calling?

During that time, I was fortunate to hear a perspective on calling and vocation that made me say “Yes!  THIS makes sense to me!  I can see myself and my life in this model.”  I’ve found it extremely helpful in my own life, and I’ve lost count how many times I’ve shared this model with others, especially young adults who are trying to figure out their path.  But no matter how experienced you are I life, I think this model offers value and insight.

First off, I want to give credit where credit is due, and it’s due to Catherine Cronin Carotta and Michael Carotta in their work “Sustaining the Spirit:  Callings, Commitments, and Vocational Challenges.”  Mike has been a friend and mentor of mine for decades, and I’m so grateful for the times I was blessed to hear him unpack this model of vocation.  I can only hope that I’ll do it justice for you today.

To begin, I’d like you to imagine three circles.  Each of these circles represents a particular calling in your life:  The call of faith, the call of relationships, and the call of work.  These circles are independent, but they can overlap.  As you imagine those circles for your own life, how do you envision them?  Are they all piled on top of one another?  Or are they all very separate, with space in between?  Or are a couple of them partially overlapping, but a third is distant?  (There’s no one right way of arranging your circles – the work of discerning calling is figuring out what’s best for each of us, individually!)

Next, let’s look at each of those circles – those callings – a bit more in depth.

The call of faith

The call of faith is not to be answered with a statement of religious affiliation or a description of a certain level of religious practice.  Rather, this is the call that beckons us to answer the question, “How am I to live?”  In other words, what sustains my life?  What beliefs, disciplines, principles, and values guide my life?  Or even deeper still, what is my core identity?  As a person of faith, I answer this question with “as a child of God.”  A simple answer, perhaps, but it seems the older I get, the more I appreciate how deep and challenging that answer can be to live.

I believe this is our “first calling.”  Not that we have to answer this one first before the others, but first in the sense that it is the most foundational to our identity. 

On that note about the order in which we respond to these callings:  There is no order.  And none of the callings are answered for once and for always.  As we grow and mature, we will respond to these callings – and answer their key questions – in different ways, with different understanding, from different life circumstances.  We are always “in process” of living our callings.

The call of relationship

The call of relationship poses the question:  “With whom am I to live?”  Who will I choose to share my life with?  For me, a big part of how I respond to this calling is as a wife.  If you have children, I suspect that being a parent is a dominant aspect of how you respond to this call of relationship.  And while marital status or parental status tend to get a lot of attention, they aren’t the only response in that circle – for any of us. 

Whether we’re married or not, have children or not, are vowed religious or celibate clerics or not, we all share our lives with others.  I share my life with other family members, close friends, and a trusted community.  A pastor might share his life with his church community.  A vowed religious brother or sister shares his or her life with their community.

The call of work

The call of work invites us to answer the question, “How am I to share my gifts?”  Notice that the question isn’t “What’s your job?” or “What do you get paid to do?”  In responding to this calling, we’re invited to see ourselves as whole human beings, endowed with gifts and creativity that can be shared with others for the benefit of others. 

If we work or are employed in some fashion, what impact do we make through that labor?  If we share our gifts in other ways – volunteer commitments, passion projects, community involvement – how do we benefit others?  How do we put our gifts, talents, strengths, and skills to use?

Perhaps we answer this question with a job title or description.  But I like to look deeper at common threads.  For instance, when I worked in full-time church ministry, it could have been easy to say that my calling was my job title or ministry area.  But now I’m in a very different position.  In some ways, my calling has changed.  In other ways, I look at these two positions, and see that my calling – common to both roles – has to do with accompanying and inspiring others.

So what do you think?

What new insights come to you as you think about your life callings in these three areas?

How would you describe your response to each of these three callings?

How much overlap is there for you in these three areas?  Would you like more overlap, or less?

I’ll share more next week on this topic, but this gives you something to ponder until then!  Enjoy!